August 12, 2024
Philosophical Pop-Tards® and The Evil Toaster of Doom
In the grocery store, there was a particular shelf that hosted a peculiar civilization—a collection of Pop-Tards® living in their boxes. Not to be confused with their more famous cousins, Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts®, these weren’t just cheap, off-brand, sugary pastries encased in foil. No, they were fully sentient, wrapped in existential angst and glazed with a layer of philosophical dread.
The Frosted Cherry Pop-Tards®, with their bright red icing, were in the middle of a particularly heated discussion. Mr. Cherry, the self-appointed philosopher of the bunch, stood atop his box and gesticulated with fervor.
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